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Videos of myself dancing

I’m lacking in pulse and I look a bit stiff. All the things I thought were massively horrendous mistakes, are barely noticeable (aka, I meant to do that double kick right there… yes). I hesitate.

Other than that, I still just look like a chubby girl dancing. As harsh of a critic as I usually am, I have to admit it’s just not that bad. I have lots of work to do, but it’s really not bad.

I wish I was smaller though. It’s taking too long. I’m sure I couldn’t have done this at 400lbs however, so I’m grateful it is what is. 230lbs is better; 170lbs will be best.

I’m probably also allergic to my own nonsense

I’m hoping to drive back up to Beantown for a couple classes or at least the last dance tomorrow. I’m feeling a little better today, though I still slept an inordinate amount of hours. 

One of the gentleman working at Beantown called me last night because I didn’t show up for my shift and I just felt awful (I left messages and emails and voice mail everywhere, mind you, when I left sunday night). I remember I told my instructor, “Just put me where ever you need me. I’ll show up early and stay for clean up.” And I did… the three nights I was there. I even worked two, two hour shifts in one day when I was only told I’d be working for an hour each day. Still, I’m worried she’ll never ask/allow me to help out again and that makes me sad. 

Oh, and the illness? It’s a soy allergy. Literally the last thing I ever wanted (on top of a gluten and sugar intolerance). I’m not a big fan of soy (and I wouldn’t have eaten it had I had another protein option at camp), but it’s rather insidious. It looks like I will be eating almost nothing but whole foods from now on. Whatever the sacrifice, it has to be better than not being able to breathe and having hives on the inside of my mouth and throat.

Being tired constantly when I want to be dancing at an event that only happens once a year is making me grumpy. I slept from 2am last night till 3pm this afternoon. It’s midnight and I’m sleepy again. 

I am a ball of mope.

Beatown II

Got sick, slept sixteen hours straight, came home. 


There were only two other classes I’ll be sad to miss (aside from the evening dances), and I was contemplating getting a private lesson… 

…because I came to this realization about how green my dancing really is. You know, ‘cause when you get passed over for follows who don’t have any pulse (literally walking through every move), do seven-count swing-outs, and look frightened of everything their lead suggests, you do start to question yourself a bit. 

Just a *tiny* bit.


I’ve been here five seconds and I never want to leave.

I don’t know WHAT I was so worried about.

Big, fun event coming up?

Queue social anxiety. 



My dance crush on Remy Kouakou Kouame is so real.

Ditto. Very ditto. 

lindy hop owns my life

there’s all this stuff in my head

sainraja: #billi #conure #conures #conuresofinstagram #parrot #parrots #parrotsofinstagram

sainraja: #billi #conure #conures #conuresofinstagram #parrot #parrots #parrotsofinstagram

I’ve just discovered that I can download a youtube video and watch it in slow motion.

This changes everything.

A New Challenger Appears!



Just a budgie eating bacon wrapped salmon. Happens all the time.

Just a budgie eating bacon wrapped salmon. Happens all the time.

I just signed up for my first balboa class!

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